My clients come to me in desperation. They want to make a change, but cannot get their minds to cooperate to take a break. Recently, I have facilitated Brainspotting and parts work with a few clients who are on break from work owing to injury and/or burnout. They complain that their minds and bodies shut down. There is no desire or motivation to do anything. This makes them anxious because the list of to-dos is getting longer. They are frustrated with themselves.

The first step is to help them understand that every part is a representation of an inner need. As we process the part that makes them shut down, they come to understand that the parts are not here to get them, rather they are here to highlight a gap that needs to be addressed. Their frustration changes to openness and understanding.

And then it happens - almost every single time - their inner child communicates a sense of self-abandonment. The inner child reminds clients of things they enjoy but do not do anymore, passions they stifled, career paths they did not take, romantic partners sacrificed in the name of comfort, parental approval. The inner child is saddened. It is grieving. The natural state of grieving is to let everything come to a standstill so that these hurts may be tended to.

We pause here. These are carthatic moments of acknowledgement. More than blaming, it is about connecting to those parts of us that hold our dreams and desires. It is about rekindling wonder, awe, play, joy. I encourage clients to ask their inner child, “How can I support you here on now?”

The answers are simple and doable and they blow me away each time.

Make your favourite foods once a week.

Blow bubbles.

Lie in the sun.

Dance.

Get back to writing your journal.

Pray.

Stop judging and being unkind to yourself.

At this point, clients cry. From relief. Healing is thought of as this arduous, relentless pursuit. Knowing that one can get there by drawing or blowing bubbles can seem too easy or weird. I invite them to try it out for two weeks, and build these into their schedule a few times a week*.

Clients come back with new confidence. Their spirit soars. Their body has more energy. They make better decisions. Their task list is manageable because they are able to prioritize. The urgency passes. Clients feel more present.

We are now ready to heal from trauma. We are ready to step forward in all that we wish to do. One step at a time.

Inner child connection helps us to reevaluate our values and realign with the simpler things in life. It restores our faith in ourselves because the need and the way out our highlighted by us. It evokes a sense of gentleness and compassion, that we often do not extend to our adult selves. We take ourselves seriously, but in a goofy manner - the best oxymoron in our journey to expansion.

What is your inner child telling you?

Meditation on inner child connection

Notes:

* For some clients, this phase of connecting with the inner child will go on for much longer owing to deep traumas. The time period varies from person to person. I was referring to clients specifically who were burnt out or recovering from injury as stated in the beginning.