Lessons from non-attachment

A few days ago, I made thepla for the first time. Thepla is a Gujarati dish and one of my favourite anytime snacks. For context, I had never used wheat flour and most definitely never kneaded dough until a few days ago. I had been feeling the call to try it out, and after procrastinating, researching, and cheerleading myself into it, I entered the kitchen.

My first thought was to make a reel/video of the steps. But even as I collected the items, a part of me could not get myself to get my phone and tripod set up. I downgraded the intention from video to photos, and once again, I could not, did not.

As I put my hands into the flour with spices, oil, and water and began to knead, a subtle energy shifted in my abdomen. I felt a sense of peace and joy that I never have before. A voice inside me was happy for me, but also chastised me for not recording this moment.

It was then that I heard another voice. How many of these healing moments can you record? Your life is filled with them. You have several moments every day. Just be here. Savour it. Let your body remember it.

It was another realization that I felt that pressure to record because I had…have a fear of forgetting. Somewhere in the crevices of my mind, I still worry about getting Alzheimer’s like my mom. The second I recognized it, it melted.

Along with peace and happiness, I felt liberating relief. I do not have to record. I do not have to hold on. I do not have to remember.

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On the Path, my teachers cautioned me about getting attached to magical experiences. They have shared that positive experiences on the journey to liberation often lead to attachment. That is in line with the Buddha’s teaching on suffering: we are all programmed to chase the things that feel good, and be averse to what does not feel good. When good things pass, we experience grief and fear that we will never be happy again.

That day, in the middle of my kitchen, hands sticky with dough, abdomen bubbling with pleasure, I realized that I am already happy. I have firsthand experience of trauma, chronic illness, and paralyzing fear, and with it all, I am happy.

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Letting go begins with an intention and translates into being mindfully present in the moment. The body, breath, and ground are the tools we use to be embodied. We notice the sensations arise, when they peak, how they wane and eventually pass. We practice gratitude. And as simply as that, we move to the next thing.

Go on try it!