One-minute to liberation

A call to make your meditation practice accessible and enjoyable

Sometimes my practice feels elusive, like right now as I am playing the role of a care partner to my spouse who is recovering from surgery. There has been a lot of activity - physically, and it has been emotionally taxing. The build-up has gone on for months. I am tired. Finding twenty minutes to sit seems impossible. When I try to get to it, I feel anxious and restless.

Is this how I lose my practice?

Most of us have internalized ideas about what meditation is supposed to be/look/feel like. I am here to tell you, we are all wrong.

To deprogram toxic perfectionism and lofty, unreachable standards, we need to go back to the purpose of meditation. The purpose of meditation is to free us from suffering and dissolve all the ideas we have created which trap us in cycles of cravings and aversions. If meditation itself becomes the source of suffering, we are doing it wrong.

I remember telling my teacher, Lama Justin that my two-hour daily practice was leading to pain flare-ups that were unmanageable. He looked at me with are-you-stupid eyes and said, "Then don't do it."

Many of us bring our type A personalities, replete with perfectionism, rigid rules, and lofty goals, into our spiritual practice. As a result, the thing that is supposed to free us keeps us trapped. This is a reminder to all of us high achievers and be-good-ers not to turn meditation into another source of feeding and fending our egos.

Meditation or samadhi is one of the pillars of the Dharma, not the goal. The other pillars are ethical living, sila, and wisdom, prajna. Without these, our practice is incomplete, and in fact, it is just another thing commodified and sold to us.

For me, my practice is all about being aware, present, and equanimous. If long sitting practice is horribly uncomfortable, then a short gentle walk or quiet time with a cup of tea is as acceptable. It is not about the minutes I sat for, or how many days streak I have on Insight Timer (or another app).

It is about the quality of my mind. Taking Lama Justin's teaching to heart, I have been coming to my practice via micro-sits. At random times during the day, I pause. I look around and let my gaze settle on a wall or an object. Not focussed or observing, simply settled. I exhale with a sigh through my mouth and allow fresh air to fill me up as I track the changes in my body as a result of the breath.

This seemed so much better than what I did after my first Vipassana retreat. In 2007, I went to a 10-day silent retreat. When I came back, I continued my practice for a month and noticed weird sensations in my body. It spooked me and I stopped meditating. Knowing what I know now, I could have merely reduced the amount of time I was sitting or even used a self-soothing touch to be present with the new sensations.

It is better to meditate for a much shorter time, than to not meditate at all.

Today, I came down to my basement office, turned on the fire, and lit the lamp as an offering to the Medicine Buddha at my desk, along with my protector, Sherni. I sank into my grey mesh office chair as I sipped my tepid tea and returned the Medicine Buddha's loving gaze. My chest deflated as the stress left my body. The new prana was medicine. Along with relief, I noticed something else showing up, pure pleasure arising with rest. A pleasure that I needn't cling to but could come back again and again to in the simplest way.

As I lit the lamp today, I was reminded of my father's ritual of lighting the lamp at the wooden mandir in our home. The little temple shared its premises with our store room where we kept our grains, spices, snacks, and other extra groceries. I used to resent it when my dad would ask me to light the lamp. I remembered those days with a smile this morning. The simple ritual of lighting the lamp twice a day was a great way to create a quick pause and connect with the essence.

So, here is my invitation to you. Every day wake up and assess what is accessible to you energy and time-wise. Decide in the morning, what your practice might look like that day. When can I take a 1-min pause today?

If you think you do not have time, tell yourself, "Come on, everyone has ONE MINUTE for liberation!"