Messages from my spirit

I am in a period of silence. I have taken a break from consuming and creating. This was not planned, but a by-product of moving homes and embracing the suburban life. It feels strange not to wake up every morning with a burning message that I hope will change the world. Turns out everything goes on the way it does even if I do not add my noise to the world. Yet, I miss having a point of view, a nugget. I have missed being creative. I have been tempted to call it burn out...writer's block. Surely this is a sign of depression!

In the mornings, as I sip my perfect cha, and Macha lays in the grass in bliss mode, I wonder why this isn't enough for me. I have tried to write. I have tried to put words on paper and/or screen. But it simply isn't happening. Tapping into the wisdom of Dzogchen, I bring myself to simply be. I can feel my abdomen expand and I realize I am breathing again. As I exhale, my shoulders come down from ears and open up. A sigh forms and escapes my lips without my trying.

As I slip into this silence, I can hear my spirit whispering.

1. Let there be space. Do not rush. Do not be impulsive. You do not have to fill every gap.
2. This is the gap. The gap is wide open awareness. The place where everything begins and ends. This is the gap after one thing ends and before something else takes it place. Revel.
3. Pay attention to who listens. Even if it is a few, or just one. Give them what you have. It is not about how many people receive the message, rather about how deeply the receive it. Invest energy in those who listen and engage.
4. It will find a way. "It" being the teachings. They will find a way through you. It is their nature to reach those who are ready. It is yours to be a conduit. You do not have to strive. Let it happen.
5. Enjoy. A glass of wine. Delicious food. A kiss. A nap. Stillness. Silence. Grass. Skies. Safety. Sometimes courage is letting yourself enjoy all things amidst great suffering. Be the source of Mudita. Give others a chance to be happy for you, to remember that good things are possible.
6. Keep it simple. Your communication. Your practice. Your relationships. Your work. There is no need for frills. There is no need to do everything.
7. Your potential is not your output - not your book, not your bank balance, not the number on your following. Your potential is how you show up in the world with an ever-growing compassion. You are not useless or lazy. You are showing up and that's it.
8. It is okay if someone else does what you were called to do. You were not doing them for yourself. As long as it gets done, be happy. The work will get done, if you do not do it. You can slip into the quiet for now.
9. Speak up for what is right. Share the fundraisers. Humanize the forgotten. Your friends are going through their process. Pray for them. Send them your love as dedication of merit. You can grieve, and continue to do the right thing.
10. Pratyahara. Practice sense withdrawal. Let the associations and meaning making that has developed over this life time dissolve in this practice. Melt. Let it go.

As I was lamenting that it took me three days to write this post, another one emerged - Do things slowly. Find pleasure in the activities of daily life. From making your bed, to brewing your chai, to picking up your dog's poop, find pleasure in them.

And I do. Right this minute, I have entered the kitchen, I am going to play a rerun of my favourite sitcom for the millionth time and I am going to make my favourite alu gobi for dinner. This is the plan. This is the action. This is the destination.